the blurring distinction of home

The ending of 2004 will hopefully be marked as the point in time where certain things are let go, where disappointments are put aside, where one looks towards the future…

When you’ve gone through the last couple of years, doing things for only one goal in mind, or one person in fact, and suddenly that goal ceases to exist…vanishes…you’re left strandard without hope, without anything…

And the healing process slowly begins…picking up any salvagable pieces left in the wreckage of choices made…

…stunting the growth of friendships past…
…forsaking the forging of friendships anew…
…letting go of wishes…
…dropping of old dreams and ambitions…
…breaking strongly held principles…
…losing one’s sense of self…
…accepting abuse without retaliation…
…giving yet not receiving…
…living an existence for another…
…stumbling and struggling for one reason…
…risking all for one love…

to come away with nothing…

And so another chapter closes and I start to write a new chapter, the future beckons with having to find a new direction, to find new meaning, and in some strange way, to pick up where I left off 4 years ago, for that is the only thing that I am certain of.

Have I regressed back a few years and start retreading old steps or have I been totally shifted down an entirely new path to walk on?

None can tell.

One can only reflect upon after embarking down the road.

Happy New Year.